Waiting and Irreversibility

What do you do when you have nothing to write about?

What do you do when you have one thing to think about, very important, but you can’t, because you’ve shut your mind off from it because of some other important stuff, and you know that until you haven’t sorted out that one important thing in your mind, you won’t be able to think clearly and move ahead with your life. That thing is a bottleneck, restricting the flow of your life because there is something, something unresolved, something yet to be decided, for better or for worse, some bridges that are waiting to be burned, and till then, any step that are taken on them are filled with dread, with horrors of abyss beneath and faded visions of the path ahead.

It’s as if you’ve shut everything else off with it too. You pick up your pen, but you know you can’t write anything else, unless you muster up enough courage to write about that thing. Things keep increasing, you keep pushing against the door higher and higher, wanting and dreading at the same time, thinking and writing about the thing which needs to be done. Only one thought, at the barrier you’ve sealed that thought in. But it is leaking out, more and more. But you’ve got to ignore it, because you can’t afford to put out all the stops right now. So you keep ignoring the wet floor, ignoring stubbornly, and just getting on with it.

You’re waiting, waiting to think, waiting to decide, waiting to write, waiting to burn the bridges, waiting to set fire to everything behind. But also, you’re secretly hoping something to happen which will neutralize everything. But you know this is not going to happen. It’s a mirage something you see at the corner of your eye, but can never focus on. It keeps hanging in mid-air, irritating you with it’s occasional visions, weakening you, without ever landing on the plane of reality.

And you wait…


4 thoughts on “Waiting and Irreversibility

  1. Akash

    This is a masterpiece among your posts about daily life problems. The feeling of doing things but at the same time hoping for a miracle to happen to neutralize things, I love the way to describe things 😉

    Great going!


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