Diary Jottings – Or is it just me…

Sitting in the small balcony of my room for the first time, watching the evening. It’s good. I can, maybe I should, sit and write my diary here. It’s small, but it feels very cozy here, the kind of coziness you feel in a place small enough only to accommodate you but quite comfortable for you. Maybe I should sit here more and more often.

Feeling very sad today…

Why is it that this place never cheers me up? Why is it that this place never cheers me up??? It only makes me sad, gloomy, melancholic. Every place here, whether outstandingly beautiful & exquisite or very ugly, makes me equally sad. Everything, everything…

Good climate, bad climate, studies or the lack of it, mess or canteen, movies or songs, sleep or nightouts, cigarettes or liquor, outings, gaming, everything seems just a façade, a gimmick to ward off the emptiness within.

It’s like this place is wrapped up in a fatalistic hedonism, in which everyone is running at a frenzied pace, seeking one pleasure after another (academic or otherwise), afraid to look behind, afraid of the impending realization that none of it is causing deep satisfaction(happiness/contentment) at all, and the gaping chasm of nothingness opening in front of everyone then. That keeps them running apace, one thing after another, into another abyss, that of homogeneity and oblivion, where nothing is different from the other, and everything is directed towards a goal which nobody can recall now, just a vague memory…


Or is it just me… (as others might think)


Author: Mitostargazer

I read. I write. I listen.

12 thoughts on “Diary Jottings – Or is it just me…”

  1. Good climate, bad climate, studies or the lack of it, mess or canteen, movies or songs, sleep or nightouts, cigarettes or liquor, outings, gaming, everything seems just a façade, a gimmick to ward off the emptiness within.- Soo true!!!! I loved ths small write-up!!

  2. That was really beautiful and touching man! Sorry you’re feeling sad though. Try playing some video games or listening to inspirational music. If you want you can always chat with me on Facebook too. Cheers.

    1. thanks for commenting john.
      it isn’t that sadness which can go by games or music. it’s bit different.
      anyways, thanks for suggesting 🙂
      I’ll chat with you soon, moreover we have a knack of knocking into each other at odd hours on facebook 😉

  3. Hello.
    I felt sad just reading this.
    Seems to me you need a distraction…perhaps some love…not just any love…but a true, heartfelt, makes you dizzy, makes your heart go pitter patter kind of love. With love everything always seems so much brighter.

    Very nicely expressed though.
    Thanks for sharing.

    My latest post:
    Heaven Is You

  4. Sadness is what we experience to realize how happy we are when we appreciate simply things. I sense I’ve been where you are before, maybe not on that balcony or in the need of liquor or cigarettes but certainly pondering life itself and my existence among so many beautiful souls. You’ll soar and get past this but appreciate where you sit now because it helped you stand in the future.

  5. Maybe you are confused. You are trying to get a thing which can bring back the spark of your life but you don’t know what it is. Nice post

    Keep Writing 😀

  6. Hi Mohit,
    I absolutely agree with what you have written in the last but one paragraph. Isn’t the meaningless pursuit of goals making us forget what we really want in the deepest of our hearts. Aren’t we all after happiness rather than better grades or money? And can these things really bring happiness? Or is happiness just a state of peace of being? Many things to ponder about from your post.

  7. thanks sayantika 🙂
    sadly, most of them don’t have time enough to ponder about these things, and then they complain of lack of happiness among all the achievements they have. What they don’t notice is that they were never after happiness anyways, how they are supposed to get it then….

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