Today you came in my dream.
It had been quite some time. And like every other time, this time too you came without a warning. And hit me hard somewhere within.
I saw I met you. There was some reason for me coming, but I can’t remember it. It was probably an excuse anyway, as everything else with you is. I met you, among other people, talked among other people, and soon the time came for me to go. Like every other time, so many unformed emotions rushed to the head, but I kept on working with leaden mind. At last I came to you. You were writing something for me, and I was watching you from a distance. It was something sweet, and restrained. As you turned the same restraint was in your eyes. As you came to me to hand over the parting gift, the heady rush of those thoughts was rocking my brain heavily. I don’t know if it was only me, or I could observe the same storm on your face too. As I took your hand, instead of taking the gift, the dams suddenly burst open, and with alarming clarity, intensity, and penetration, I pierced through your defenses, forced open your gateway of decorum with those passionate, and metallic words, and dived headfirst in the storm.
The storm broke loose. The next second your arms were around my neck, and you were sobbing violently. The two storms had become one. You were sobbing, shaking violently, saying only one thing: “Why did you let me go?” I had no answer to the question, as did you. Everything was meaningless. Only the instant remained, and the embrace, and your heart beating with mine in sobs. “Why did you let me go?” Why did I let you go?….
I don’t know how long the embrace lasted. It was long. I knew but couldn’t let go, because I knew this was for the first and the last time. Finally the storm subsided and you let go of me. Lastly I remember writing something to you, something faded attempts of saying all those things over again, to see the storm inside of you once again. But I knew it was shut out, forever. I take a look at the thing you wrote for me, and set out packing my things again, it was time to go.
These dreams will never let go of me completely, however far I may come from you. You are my Muse, I will always get visions of you…
The embrace, the sobbing, that beating of two hearts, still remains…